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Friday, June 13, 2008

He's cute and he's mine!

Sometimes I get this urge to just talk about my blessings. Anthony is one of my greatest blessings. For those of you who know a great deal about my prior dating past, you also know that Anthony is a breath of fresh air. Yesterday, I realized just how great he is. There has been this issue that has been with me for some time. I would dare to say YEARS. I am a control freak. I am this way in everything I do. I am this way in how I clean, organize, do homework, have relationships, etc... There is very little that I leave to "fate" to figure out. I would plan spontaneity and think nothing of it.

I am certainly in a growing place in my life. I am getting ready to be done with Grad School in a year, have a new place and love it dearly, talking very seriously about marriage, starting to think about children, and attending therapy every time I can, to get over some of the childhood things. I was in group therapy on Thursday and this issue got brought up. It turns out that one of my co-groupers has a spouse with a similar issue. As I listened to this person talk about their pain, I realized what Anthony has to deal with. After therapy I immediately called him and talked it out with him with many apologies and realized IT HAS TO STOP. I am going to let go of all of this control. I want to love Anthony with everything I am. Doing that requires me to shut up and let him do some things to. I trust him implicitly, why oh why can't I let go? I hate control yet I sure do love it. It's an old friend

I just wanted to say I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND and can't wait to marry him!


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